


Natasha Romanov's Adventures in Babysitting

by drabblesinthemoonlight



Series: Maria au [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Female Tony Stark, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Let's assume all my works are Not Beta Read, Natasha Romanov is panicking, Natasha doesn't know how children work, Neither does Steve, Nobody will believe you if you say that though, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Only Rhodey, Rhodey Saves the Day, Toni and Bucky are having a day off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 02:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16924821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drabblesinthemoonlight/pseuds/drabblesinthemoonlight
Summary: Natasha Romanoff was the Black Widow, she was capable of almost anything and dangerous beyond belief.This apparently did not extend to successfully babysitting an infant for an afternoon while its parents were...having some ‘adult time’.





	1. Natasha Romanov is Not Panicking

The tiny blob of an infant was crying, wailing, sobbing, any of those worked.   
  
Natasha Romanoff was the Black Widow, she was capable of almost anything and dangerous beyond belief.   
  
This apparently did not extend to successfully babysitting an infant for an afternoon while its parents were  _ ~~ fucking ~~ _ having some ‘adult time’.   
  
She peered down at the baby laying on the couch, a hand on the child’s stomach to keep it from rolling away in a fit of tears.   
  
“Sun’s getting real low,” she tried.   
  
Her voice was low and soothing. This has no effect on her niece. If anything she cried harder. Natasha flinched.   
  
The phone was sitting on the coffee table beside her, she could just call them – no. No, Natasha could do this. She’d been shot at, _had been shot_ , she could do this.   
  
She continued to coo at her niece in a feeble attempt to quiet the baby.   
  
Then Maria tried to roll over.   
  
Actually. She _succeeded_ in rolling over, _what the_ – oh. Of course, this was the time to make her super strength apparent.   
  
Natasha didn’t scramble to pick up Maria before she fell off the couch.   
  
Even if she did no one would believe it.   
  
Natasha did her best to keep Maria from squirming too much.   
  
Natasha did _not_ call Toni or Bucky.   
  
However she did call Steve.   
  
“You know how to care for babies, right?” Natasha asked as soon as the call connected.   
  
So what if she sounded a little bit harried.   
  
“Why am I hearing Maria screaming?” Steve asked hesitantly.   
  
“I don’t know how to make her stop.”   
  
“Is this you asking for help?”   
  
“Oh just get to the living room you douchebag.”   
  
“On my way.”   
  
Natasha could hear how smug he was through the line.   
  
She might actually kill Steve once this was over.


	2. Enter Rhodey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rhodey was having a perfectly normal, peaceful, not-anxiety inducing day." This resolutely, did not last.

Rhodey was having a perfectly normal, peaceful, not-anxiety inducing day. He was even considering calling Toni up for their monthly favourite movie marathon a few days shy of their usual schedule. That’s how relaxed he was!

That is of course when Everything Goes To Shit.

He blindly reaches for his phone from his sprawl on the couch when it starts vibrating.

The screen displays an unlisted number, not out of the ordinary since it is his life.

It sounds like something’s on fire. A distant infant’s giggle could be heard. Aside from that?

Dead air.

Oh fuck no.

Rhodey’s about to hang up when Natasha starts talking. Her usual deadpan just…Gone.

“Rhodes we need back up.”

This is Natasha speak for begging (he’s spent enough time at the Tower and has heard enough gossip to know).

“What the fuck is going on?” Rhodey asks, reasonably shaken.

“Your niece is a monster and Steve doesn’t know jack shit about children.”

A distant affronted ‘hey!’ is heard even further back.

Rhodey almost hangs up. But it’s his niece.

“How fast do you need me?”

“Now.”

Then she hangs up.

Asshole.


End file.
